Keeping up with the Joneses

Keeping up with the Joneses takes on a whole new meaning here in Fort Portal. While that philosophy of living has never particularly attracted us, especially coming from the Vail Valley where it is nearly impossible for anyone to keep pace with their neighbors, we can’t help but put our new life in the context of how other Americans live so far from home.

The expat community here is a great mix – lived here a short time, just moved here, lived here five years, been here the entire time we’ve been married, young children, high school age children, home schoolers, pregnant and soon to deliver, two grandmoms and one granddad, live in town, live up country, Baptist, Lutheran, Catholic, Church of Christ, Calvary Chapel, Presbyterian, Anglican. You can find just about any personality type, any part of the US represented, any color hair and any interest – we are athletic, academic, deeply spiritual, committed, called, kind, witty, talented, generous and intelligent. No one would dare expose a dark side – we all need the light of mutual encouragement too much. In our short time here, we know that this group will become like family to us – whether we are sharing a glass of wine or babysitting someone’s children, studying Beth Moore together or talking about football.

So as I recount the humor I find in comparing “keeping up with the Joneses, US style” to “keeping up with the Joneses, Uganda style” please know that we are already growing to dearly love these families who have brought a new and sustaining richness to our lives in Fort Portal. They have shared with us their wisdom, knowledge, advice, experience and humor.

Brandi and Lou hale from the south – Brandi from Mississippi and Lou from South Carolina. However, a strong bond was immediately formed when we discovered they had done their seminary training in Ft. Worth and we could talk Texas with them. Brandi and Lou live at one of the most beautiful corners in all of Fort Portal – they are high on Boma hill (where the British settled on their arrival to take advantage of views of the Rwenzoris), across the street from the nicest hotel in town with beautiful gardens, and under the towering eucalyptus trees that occasionally line the streets. We can’t match their location – they have it all. Nor can we match their butane burners…and I think Bob has BB envy. They have recently purchased a gas oven which looks like it could be in a home in Vail, but the secret to their cooking efficiently is the enormous waist-high butane tank which they connect to the stove when needed. As if that is not enough to envy – both stove and butane tank, they have butane lanterns scattered throughout their house which are just a bit more efficient than the 2 cent candles Bob and I prop up in cups to help us get through the night. Of course, Brandi is 7 months pregnant and needs some creature comforts.

Doug and Destiny are from northern California and run Calvary Chapel. Destiny married Doug after he was already living in Kampala, so she went into this adventure with eyes wide open, even knowing she would have to leave the big city behind and head west to tiny Fort Portal. While Bob and I shudder at the thought of spending $130 on gas to go to Kampala to run errands and spend hours discussing how to forego the trip, Doug and Destiny have a baby who has to get to the doctor for immunizations. They have no choice but to budget for the required travel for Audrey’s shots. We have “Kampala trip” envy because they have an verifiable excuse to go…of course they also have a 7 month old baby and a 3 year old son, a situation I not only do not envy, but am over the moon in my admiration for their courage.

At the first expat dinner we attended at Doug and Destiny’s home, we met Bob and Jennifer – who have lived here 14 years and wear that fact like a badge of courage. This dinner happened to be during our “lost in space wire” episode, so we were wearing our concern on our sleeves and everyone knew what was going on. Bob regaled us with 14 years of stories of stolen money, lost funds, missing donations, and corrupt Ugandans. We don’t think we will ever catch up with his list of how many times he’s been cheated, swindled and deceived, even though we are already working on a rather healthy list of our own.

Our internet and email situation brings up so much emotion that I could write at least a chapter and probably an entire book on the difficulties, the frustrations, and the adjustments we continue to make in trying to find a system that keeps us in touch with home and allows us to share the mission and vision of Christ Aid Academy with friends and donors. So after a trip to UTL with Lou, who generously took time to introduce Bob to Bruno, the friend who babysits Lou’s system, Bob walked away with deep disappointment when Bruno informed him that the great system Lou uses – attaches pictures and documents and goes at a fair clip – is no longer available. So while we spend hours, days and weeks…yes, even months…hunting a new system that works while an old system that Lou got 3 years ago sits on his desk and works fine, we cannot keep up with the Johnson’s and their “ancient” internet system. Ours is brand new and broadband, but only works occasionally…but when it does, we win! It’s lickety-split, does every task we demand of it, and if we close our eyes, we can almost pretend we’re in the US where everyone has high-speed. We just don’t win very often.

Now here is an area that any one of us, no matter where we live, can fall prey to great envy – the yard surrounding our homes. Just think about boisterous English gardens, beautifully manicured French gardens, gardens filled with mountain flowers, the riotous colors of annuals like petunias and pansies, blooming vines heavy with blossoms – it takes your breath away, like a Monet painting of Giverny gardens. We love gardens, we love green, we love color! So while we may all have garden envy at some time or another in our lives, the envy here in Uganda takes on a new and serious tone. The yard surrounding your home in Fort Portal is the only piece of ground you have any control over in respect to cleanliness and absence of trash. It is truly your sanctuary in a sea of constant refuse…the one idyllic spot where you can keep trash at bay, create a pastoral scene to soothe the nerves, and keep the wicked world of filth on the other side of the gate. Rumor has it that the new mayor of Fort Portal is working on keeping the trash off the streets – I have a box of plastic gloves to offer him to put a few unemployed to work. As for everyone’s yards, I think we all win. We come from the US where the common practice of throwing trash out the window of a car is frowned on, so we make the most of the rain and the sunshine and all have a little oasis around our homes.

There is one area here where everyone stands on even ground – no one bullies their to the head of the line and no one waits patiently at the end. When the electricity is off, it is off – it has no regard for your being rich or poor, tall or short, old or young, if you are Ugandan or mzunga, ill or well – the electricity is off. You can be caught cooking, ironing, washing or working on the computer – it doesn’t care. It just goes off. You don’t know if it will go off at 7:00AM or back on at 6:00PM. You can wear yourself out and bring yourself close to the brink of insanity trying to figure out when to do chores that involve electricity, when to sit at the computer, when to cook a big meal or a one pan meal. Just when you think you have a pattern down, there’s a public holiday, no one works, and the electricity stays on…or the station in Kasese blows a major fuse and the day they planned to work is moved to the next day…or it teases you and stay on until 9:00AM, making you think it will stay on all day, then goes off…or gets you excited to do laundry, then pulls the plug on you. Reasons are varied, speculation is constant…the most recent I heard was that when the Chinese botched the new dam on the Nile, the government had to step in to repair…a job which will take 5 years. If this continues that long, I predict that all citizens and expats residing in Uganda will be raving lunatics by the time it is completed.

Since we are some of the newest arrivals, we are so far behind the other expats in some issues that we will never catch up with the Joneses. We probably beat Bob and Jennifer in the water arena because they live up country and have to catch rain water or use a well – solar energy does not heat the water like electricity. I think most of us who live in town win in the hot shower category. Our newest arrivals are just happy to have water – they came from Kenya where you can go for a month with nothing running in the pipes. Most families are already trying to catch up with us in number of guests from the states – we’ve hosted 9 people in 6 weeks, as well as had lunch with 4 others from Arizona who didn’t have time to come to the house. Because Cheryl and Jeff have lived here for 14 years, they have traveled extensively and seen much of Africa – we yearn to see just a few places in our three years and will start chipping away with saving and planning at our short list of the Indian Ocean, Mt. Kilamjaro and a French island vacation on the Seychelles or Mauritius. Everyone here has long-term commitments, meaning years and years and years, while ours is just for 3 years. We will always stay the babies in this one. Most of the men can speak Rutooro much better than us, but we are already using more words than some of the wives who have been much too busy having and taking care of children to spend time learning a foreign language. Who has the best network for information on how to survive this interesting and challenging life abroad? Well, the US government thinks Jeff and Bob do since they are the reps from the US Embassy for all of us here in Fort Portal. Most importantly…lives touched by the love of Christ, souls saved for the Lord, scripture opened to hungry hearts – only God knows how we’re all doing in this category of keeping up with the Joneses. We all pray we are simply doing what we’re called to do, not keeping score, and leaving the rest to our Heavenly Father.